bad dream

I have a sleeping disorder. I can't tell the difference between dreams and reality. It doesn't seem so bad.

You know it's funny. I remember the first time I kissed a girl. The fear; the exhilaration; the soft, dry, wetness only a first-time kiss can ever feel. Un-beatable first time that makes you feel perfect moment. Love is a real possibility, like you hear about in Shakespeare. I remember this.

Slowly, I'm starting to forget the good things. When you can't tell the difference between dreams and reality you create new memories. I remember every home evasion, every time a girl is brutalized and I can't help because I have a bullet burning in my stomach. They're not just dreams, they are memories. All we are are our memories, and they are becoming me.